Preparing for the Move to Assisted Living: A Comprehensive Guide
Transitioning to assisted living is a significant change for both seniors and their families. It involves not only physical relocation but also emotional adjustment and practical planning. Here’s a comprehensive guide to help make this transition as smooth and stress-free as possible.
1. Start Early and Plan Ahead
Begin the Conversation: Initiate discussions about assisted living early. Open, honest conversations about the benefits and challenges can help ease fears and ensure everyone is on the same page.
This varies so much family to family though. I’ve had some people who have had to frame the move as a
”testing period” especially in the case of month-to-month stays. If the assisted living is like ours, you could try this because sometimes, simply knowing that you can come back is helpful — even though the probability of doing so might be small.
Research Facilities: Explore different assisted living communities to find the best fit. Consider factors such as location, amenities, services, and the overall atmosphere. Visiting facilities in person can provide valuable insights. This is another good time to find out if the facility is month-to-month.
I will also add — what is important to YOU is not necessarily important to YOU LOVED ONE or their well being. I’ve seen facilities that will showcase things like fancy sinks and wine bars — things that impress the kids but aren’t necessary to insure the following: — Is your loved one safe? Is your loved one clean? Is your loved one well cared for and supervised?
There’s an age to worry about wine and granite kitchenettes. But at this point in their life, these aren’t the most important things and additionally, they aren’t helpful for a loved one’s limited funds and resources.
2. Involve Your Loved One
Include Them in Decisions: Make sure your loved one is actively involved in the decision-making process. This fosters a sense of control and reduces anxiety about the move.
Visit Together: Touring facilities together can help your loved one feel more comfortable with the idea. Meeting staff and residents can also provide a sense of community and belonging.
3. Organize and Downsize
Assess Belongings: Determine what items will be needed in the new living space. Measure the new home’s dimensions to decide what furniture and personal items can be accommodated.
Also, ask the space and see what they can and do provide. You might be surprised what facilities can provide such as bedding or hospital beds.
Simplify and Donate: Encourage your loved one to sort through their belongings, keeping only the essentials and items of sentimental value. Donate or give away items that won’t be needed.
But focus on the move first — eventually, you’ll be able to work on removing everything, but that will be a lot easier once you know your loved one is in a space that is clean, safe, and comfortable.
Create a Comfort Zone: Bring familiar items such as photographs, favorite books, and cherished mementos to help make the new space feel like home. Also, think beyond what they “say”. Sometimes the most important things to us are things we might not mention.
4. Handle Legal and Financial Matters
Review Finances: Understand the costs associated with assisted living and review financial resources. Consider long-term care insurance, savings, and any other funding options.
Legal Documentation: Ensure all necessary legal documents are in place. This includes wills, powers of attorney, and advanced directives. Consulting with an elder law attorney can be beneficial.
5. Manage the Move
Professional Help: Consider hiring a moving company experienced in senior relocations. They can help with packing, transporting, and setting up the new living space. Depending on how much is being moved, consider hiring movers if your loved one plans on bringing old antique furniture.
Moving Day: Plan the move for a day when you and your loved one can be fully present. Provide emotional support and reassurance throughout the process.
6. Adjusting to the New Environment
Stay Positive: Encourage a positive outlook. Highlight the benefits of assisted living, such as social activities, personal care, and the sense of community.
Engage in Activities: Help your loved one get involved in community activities and events. This can speed up the adjustment period and help them make new friends.
Set Boundaries: Set boundaries for yourself. While it can be easy to consistently check in on the assisted living, it can also only feed your own personal fear or neuroses — which then starts to affect the resident or the staff. Know when to check in and intervene, and know when to tell yourself, “they’re fine, and they’re safe and healthy.”
It can be easy to feel guilty at this point, but the important thing is to ask, “Is your loved one safe? Are they healthy? Are they supervised?” — Sometimes it’s dangerous as well to think “Are they happy?” because that may or may not be something that has anything to do with where they live right now. Some residents move in with us and become happier! Some residents move in with us and they stay exactly as unhappy as they were before — but that doesn’t have to do with us — ultimately, people are people and no service can make someone feel satisfaction with life where they refuse to find it.
In this case, don’t let their dissatisfaction become your dissatisfaction — be confident, stay positive, but then stay vigilant and perceptive, and if things aren’t adding up or you have a concern, address it.
7. Ongoing Support and Communication
Regular Check-ins: Maintain open lines of communication with the assisted living staff. Regular check-ins can help address any concerns and ensure your loved one’s needs are being met. Visit if you can and make sure the staff know you. I can tell from personal experience, that the staff love being with family members who are kind and generous with their energy. And when the staff is cared for, the resident is cared for.
Monitor Well-being and Set Boundaries: Keep an eye on your loved one’s physical and emotional well-being. If you have questions, work together with the staff to ask questions and try to find a solution. And again, set boundaries for yourself and others. While in some ways this person’s care is your responsibility, you can’t personally fight age or time and you can’t do for someone what they won’t do for themselves. You can’t force someone to do physical therapy or be more social or do all the things they need to do to be in better health. The important thing is that you find a company who can partner with you in at least attempting to provide these options in an environment that’s safe, welcoming, clean, and supervised well.
Have an Exit Strategy: It’s probably a bit ironic that I would suggest having an exit strategy at the beginning — but I do think this is a good life tip. If you’re worried, work through what you would have to do to move out. This prepares you for the worst case scenario — which is usually not as bad as you’re afraid of.
For example, in a worst case scenario — you both, resident and loved one, don’t like the space. What does it require to move out. How soon could you accommodate. Where would they stay instead. How long could they stay there. Knowing even just the short answer to a few of these things can help you remember your own personal power — that regardless of what happens you have what it takes to handle this.
Final Thoughts
Moving to assisted living is a significant life change, but with careful planning and a positive approach, it can be a smooth and successful transition. By involving your loved one in the process, organizing and downsizing thoughtfully, and providing ongoing support while remembering your personal power, you can help them embrace their new home and community with confidence and peace of mind.
Remember, the goal is to enhance their quality of life and provide a space that can give them the care, comfort, and oversight they need to function at their best possible for this stage in life.